An elaboration

Years ago, in the midst of some very average, normal break-ups, a friend and I discussed what it was, exactly, that went wrong. Far from anything earth-shattering, she proposed the very average, normal suggestion that it just "wasn't right" - but then also spawned a ranking system that we've run with ever since.

So often we're tempted to see someone's potential as a human being and use it as their potential as a mate. We force things that don't fit because we know how wonderful they are "in general," even if it isn't what we're particularly crazy about ourselves.

I've been known to settle before. I've had loves where I sacrificed some passion for incredible kindness and respect; in another I let go of the latter out of desire for the former. Both were wonderful and I wouldn't trade a second of either one, but that doesn't change the reality of the situation - it was never going to feel "right" without the right balance of both.

Never have I settled for anything less than maybe 97%. I don't spread myself out much and I've been selective - because of that I've always come thisclose to the edge... without falling. That one or two per cent doesn't seem daunting until you're faced with forever. You can spend endless nights goofing around or making out with a 99% but you can't grow old or imagine waking up, day after day, with him. It may be a measly 1/100 but that's the specific "1" that allows you to say "...Yeah, no one else. Ever." Anyone who gives his or her heart away without that 1% is an idiot.

I've confused excitement with certainty, but I compromised certain things because I really wanted "rightness" when what I had was "newness". It's not a huge shock (but a shock, still) to realize that the real thing isn't all butterflies and gut-punches (although, hot damn, there are enough of those, too...). No, it's a fair amount of security and stability, too and a sudden clear idea of what a future with someone else might look like. Not just sexy, candle-lit dinners, vacations to Europe and waking up in his shirts; it's morning breath, badly timed headaches and working late. Ninety-nine per cent wouldn't be worth all that. But 100%... well, that 1% makes all the difference. It's not that you can "put up with" their morning breath - it just doesn't even become a consideration. At 100% you can't imagine why something like that would matter.

The difference between 95 and 98 per cent will seem miniscule. In reality, most will be interchangable because they all come down to one unalterable fact - it wasn't right. Because of that, the chasm between 99 and 100 percent is HUGE. You'll have several "almosts" and hundreds of "potentials" but... how often do you find someone who you'd rather fight with than hear a million sweet words from someone else?

It just doesn't happen....

Not often, at least.

:)