It was bigger than my dog

I will never be a cat person.

Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with cats. I just happen to prefer the temperament of dogs in general.

This weekend finds me house/cat-sitting for my sister and her roommate. And along with the annoying sense of self-importance, the flimsy affection that only appears when they want something and the rank odor of a litter box, I was greeted by the sight of the most humongous poop I've ever seen in my entire life. I haven't a clue how Frankie managed to pinch that sucker out - it was longer than the length of his entire body.

And at least my dogs, on the rare occasion they relieve themselves in the house, have the decency to look ashamed or to cower in a corner. What did Frankie do? He sat by his business and waited for me to come home. He practically dared me to critique it as anything other than an obvious work of art.

... I prefer my pets to be dumber than me.