Giving God control

I'm having this issue lately with giving God the reins of life. There is this uncontrollable urge I have to hold on even after I've said "Alright, I give, I give!". It's like some genetic disposition steering me back into this misguided notion that I have - or ever had - "The Power".

What baffles me even more is that I generally know what needs to happen; or at least have a pretty good idea of what lesson God's trying to teach me. Yet I'll still keep trying to find a loophole or some shortcut that'll get me what I want except three times faster. What I fail to remember is that the destination can only be arrived at after the journey - trying to circumvent God's path is only going to draw it out longer because my meddling complicates the process.

I'm like a stubborn child thinking I can out-smart God. If I can just convince myself that I know what I'm doing, He must be fooled too, right?

Then it'll (inevitably) blow up in my face and I'll cry and throw a tantrum because I'll realize that I've just made it even harder for myself by insisting that I can "help". By "help" I mean "do this myself, thankseversomuch" and then I'm back at the beginning, frustrated and hurt and angry - with myself and with God.

I wonder, is it really possible as a human to totally give up the illusion of control 100% or will I always struggle to wrap my brain around the realities of living in His world and playing by His rules? I feel like I'll never get there. The same mistakes keep repeating and I continually mess my chances at the future I'm trying to grasp. I've seen it first-hand - sticking your hands in the batter never works if you don't know what the hell you're doing and can only ruin the end result. So why hasn't it sunk in? How many times do I have to stumble - screwing myself as I do - before I accept and submit to His power?