Conversations with my Creator: part 4

ME: So I've been doing some research...

GOD: Alright.

ME: And I think I've figured out why You do what You do.

GOD: Really?

ME: Yeah. It took quite a bit of effort and energy and blood, sweat, tears, etc., etc., but I'm pretty sure I've got You pegged.

GOD: Huh. Well, kudos! What do you plan on doing with this information?

ME: Well, now that I KNOW, I figure I can make some more concrete plans. I mean, since I've cracked Your code and subsequently solved the equation You use for running things, I can apply it to everyday living.

GOD: You're aware that a lot of people have tried that before, right?

ME: Yup.

GOD: And you think you got it right where they hadn't?

ME: Yes.

GOD: And you're also aware of the fact that the whole basis of My being, you know, GOD, is My unknowable, incomprehensible, impenetrable, all-encompassing sovereignty?

ME: Sure am.

GOD: OK. Just checking.

ME: I'll talk to You later. I'm gonna go try to ride this thing.

GOD: Good luck!


~20 MINUTES LATER~


ME: OK, what was that all about?

GOD: Hm?

ME: Don't play coy with me! None of that fit into the equation ANYWHERE!

GOD: I never said it would.

ME: Did I forget to carry the one or transpose a number or four?

GOD: No. You had a sound argument; it definitely seemed to make sense. I can see why you followed it.

ME: But it didn't work!

GOD: Again, I never claimed that it would. You made the assumption.

ME: Alright then. I'm going to try this again. This time, I'll have You check my work.

GOD: OK.


~2 MONTHS LATER~


ME: OK. OK, THIS time I got it.

GOD: Again, it looks feasible.

ME: So I'm right?

GOD: No.

ME: How does that even make sense?

GOD: What do you mean?

ME: If it's so logical that You can understand why I'd use it, how can it be wrong?

GOD: It's not "wrong". Not in the sense you mean, at least.

ME: Um, what?

GOD: You don't know everything.

ME: Right.

GOD: I do.

ME: Thanks. Rub it in.

GOD: How can you expect to figure this whole Life thing out when you have no clue what's coming down the pike? You can apply reasons and logic to the past because it's static; it won't move. But as far as YOU know, the future has a gabjillion possibilities, each as likely as the next.

ME: "A gabjillion," huh?

GOD: Yes. It's a new number; I just made it up. I can do that. Because I'm God.

ME: So you keep reminding me.

GOD: Because you keep forgetting.

ME: So what, I'm just supposed to stop trying to figure out what's going to happen and just, like... let it happen?

GOD: Yes.

ME: How in tarnation am I supposed to do that?

GOD: By trusting Me. Uh duh.

ME: Guh! Why does it always come back to THAT?! I suck at that!