Back in January I got up at the unGodly hour of 4am so that I could shoot with a really incredible young photog named Johnny Alchemy (not his real name). He's starting a project that focuses on stereotypical girl obsessions - make-up, clothes and the one I shot, shoes. After we talked for a couple weeks prior he suggested we do a half-and-half, where we spend the first chunk of time shooting his idea and the second chunk shooting mine. I was really impressed of his way of making colors "pop" so I suggested we do something "punk/rock/grunge" where there would be a lot of bold colors to play with. 
For a straight male, he had a good eye for fashion. He picked out the wardrobe all on his own.
"Hey bee, this is my photoshoot. You are a bee, you don't even wear shoes.
Half of the jewelry is Johnny's. That is, all of the chains, safety pins, locks and spikes.
Looks like I tried to make it over the post and wound up injuring my lady parts.
A week after, Amy and I finally had the opportunity to check out Magma Railroad, an abandoned RR in Pinal County, AZ. It took awhile to find (because, duh, it's abandoned and unused) but in a quaint twist of fate, the lighting turned out to be fantastic even if we couldn't stay for very long. 
Modeling is hard work! We need naps in order to maintain an appropriate "sexiness-to-vanity" ratio.
Amy slipped roofies into my diet coke.
Momma Amy: She's not union, so she's cheap.
BEES! EVERYWHERE BEES!
I'm probably the most offensive person I know
There isn't much that makes me uncomfortable.
In terms of people, I usually tell anyone who gets to know my well enough that the only way to offend me is to try to do it - on purpose. You could (theoretically) grab my boob and as long as I know you don't mean any harm I won't put my foot through your crotch. I'll tell you - nicely - that I don't like it and then if you do again I'll punch you in the throat. But the first time is a freebie. (I invite you to test this - not because I want my boobs grabbed but because one day I'd really like to punch someone in the throat.)
Adam Savage (of Mythbusters fame) has often talked about "mythbuster moments" where he stops (generally after they've strapped large quantities of explosives to a baliistics gel cow but before it's been ignited) and thinks "...we're in an abandoned quarry about to blow up a ballistics gel cow..." The abnormality that blowing up a ballistics gel cow is - to them - not abnormal suddenly becomes apparent and undeniable. For a split second, Adam Savage sees what the rest of the Discovery Channel whores like myself see during every episode: "This is weird."
This is exactly how I feel doing a nude shoot, especially when I'm carrying on a conversation with the photographer as if we'd run into each other in the lawn care aisle of Walmart. Inevitably I step outside myself and think "...I'm sitting here, totally naked, in front of a camera and I just asked about whether his dog's neutering went alright" followed by, "...This is weird." For a shoot that I did a month ago, I brought along another photog friend who I'd worked with as my escort and the artist brought his fiance. My friend and his fiance chatted obliviously twenty-five feet away while he asked me to arch my back more.
The weirdest part about it is that it's not weird. I'm very careful about who I work with and won't even consider it if the comfort level isn't 110% going into it. But I'm not the norm and most people find nudity intensely discomfitting, whether it's their own or someone else's. So when I find myself in a situation where it's not the subject that's danced around and, in fact, is hardly even noticeable, I have to take a step back and remember that it's a very different environment in front of the camera than it is in "real life". Not everyone sees it as I do; not everyone should.
Naked
So, I've been doing some nude modeling lately.
There's honestly no way to ease into this kind of a blog post, so I thought I'd just lay it out on the line.
Several of you know this and have seen some of the products. Some of you, I'm sure, will be scandalized - and that's OK. This wasn't something I got into on a whim and I've prayed long and hard about it. I happened upon it accidentally during the course of my "normal" modeling pursuits and... surprisingly enjoyed it. I've got two years of life drawing under my belt as well as a huge appreciation for these bodies that God created and all they're capable of. Going into it I anticipated a resurgence of the pride that I'd lost over the summer/fall. I wanted to feel beautiful again and that definitely was one of the results.
Something I wasn't expecting, however, was the vulnerability and contentment that met me. I'm not shy OR uncomfortable in this skin but there was something about being physically naked - in front of a CAMERA - that stripped me of any resistance I might have been feeling. It literally took maybe five minutes for me to be completely at ease and then... I don't know. I was just suddenly different.
I've done five in the past month and I have at least two more planned in January and one for February. I'm still keeping up the "clothed" modeling but I am drawn more towards conceptual artwork rather than commercial prints and that's opened up a lot of opportunities to do more nude work.
This is not something I would have ever thought myself capable of but as it turns out, it's possibly the best thing I could have done. I've stifled my artistic passions for years now and this is a means of expression that I've never considered.
I only say this because it's bound to come up in future posts and I don't want it to seem as if I'm hiding it or ashamed. I'm quite proud of my role in each piece and, honestly, I'm proud of myself for just doing it. As silly as it sounds, it's meant a lot to me.
Well, let's see where this leads us, shall we?
