Me to Easter: "Whaaaaaaaa?"

Well, now that it's over I guess I can honestly look back and say "huh?"

It was a weird one, that's for sure.

I wish I could blame it all on the fast, but I don't think all of that was hunger-induced. So much emotion for such a small amount of time - even more than I would have expected for this holiday.

There'd been this grand hope that I'd exit this weekend with some clarity in at least one aspect of my life and all that really came were more questions, confusion, frustration, etc., etc. Strangely, though, the positive things that have accompanied all that have made the anxiety worthwhile (for once).

I made it through the entire fast for the first time in (I think) four years.

I met an absolutely incredible guy.

I still don't understand the old, incredible guy.

I spent time with the OTHER old, incredible guy.

I connected with God again after some serious wrestling.

I served as much as I could without killing myself.

I got to see Liz and she looked ADORABLE.

I am exhausted. The fast was tiring in that the hunger kept me awake and I had a really hard time sleeping and I was hit with a migraine half-way through Saturday. I feel much better now that I've eaten but my body is just dying to curl up and sleep, so I think I'm going to crash early.

Nothing is more awesome to me about God than the power of pain. Not how it feels but how good it can feel, too. Maybe not "good" - satisfying? It reminds me I'm alive; connected.

OK, tomorrow when I'm pounding my fists on my steering wheel I won't feel that way but I'm content now. It's probably just an "Easter High" but I'll take it.


"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those that love Him." (1 Corinthinians 2:9)