I don't know why these amuse me

But they do.

1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:
"Michelle needs to exercise her right to shut the fuck up."

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
"Michelle looks like a cross between a hooker and a porn star."

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
"Michelle does New Hampshire."

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
"breaking news michelle hates "whitey"."

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:
"Michelle goes asian"

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search:
"Michelle loves teh penis"

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:
"Michelle eats everything she wants, guilt free, at Easter dinner."

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google search:
"Michelle has every right to question America."

9: Type in "[your name] died" in Google search:
"After Michelle died, I had to sleep with the lights on"

10: Type in "[your name] won't" in Google Search:
"Michelle won’t let me in the bathroom! She’s been there for an hour."

11: Type in "[your name] can't" in Google Search:
"Michelle can't do Shakespeare"

12: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
""Michelle wants your pie"