I should post something that amounts to more than "LULZ, INTERNET" but, um... here's a series of youtube commercials that will make you NEED NEW PANTS.
Man, I heart you, internets.
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random. Show all posts
Do you want to WIN AT YELLING?
spatial-sequence synaesthesia
Synaestesia is a neurologically based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway... In spatial-sequence, or number form synesthesia, numbers, months of the year, and/or days of the week elicit precise locations in space (for example, 1980 may be "farther away" than 1990), or may have a (three-dimensional) view of a year as a map (clockwise or counterclockwise).
I had no idea this was a documented condition but it's something I've done for as long as I can remember. Both the days of the week and the months of the year are arranged on a map in my brain and that's how I think of them. The weekdays are simpler - they're just in a line; the months, however, are in a complicated upside-down, counterclockwise oblong pattern. January starts at the bottom on the right and then progresses upwards and then curves to the left, ending with December tailgating the following January.
It could get frustating because someone would mention making plans in March and I would immediately think it was far away - even in the middle of February.
A few other descriptions have a ring of truth to them in my brain as well and I'm totally blown away that this happens to other people - enough so that they named and study it.
I'm even more of a freak that originally thought.
The most adorable thing I've seen in awhile
Kingsford Goes to the Beach - More amazing video clips are a click away
For some reason, this pig reminds me of our dog, Lil Bit. It might be the annoyingly codependency or perhaps the squat little body on skinny legs - I dunno. Familiarity aside, this video is too stinkin' cute for words.
BEES! EVERYWHERE BEES!
Back in January I got up at the unGodly hour of 4am so that I could shoot with a really incredible young photog named Johnny Alchemy (not his real name). He's starting a project that focuses on stereotypical girl obsessions - make-up, clothes and the one I shot, shoes. After we talked for a couple weeks prior he suggested we do a half-and-half, where we spend the first chunk of time shooting his idea and the second chunk shooting mine. I was really impressed of his way of making colors "pop" so I suggested we do something "punk/rock/grunge" where there would be a lot of bold colors to play with. 
For a straight male, he had a good eye for fashion. He picked out the wardrobe all on his own.
"Hey bee, this is my photoshoot. You are a bee, you don't even wear shoes.
Half of the jewelry is Johnny's. That is, all of the chains, safety pins, locks and spikes.
Looks like I tried to make it over the post and wound up injuring my lady parts.
A week after, Amy and I finally had the opportunity to check out Magma Railroad, an abandoned RR in Pinal County, AZ. It took awhile to find (because, duh, it's abandoned and unused) but in a quaint twist of fate, the lighting turned out to be fantastic even if we couldn't stay for very long. 
Modeling is hard work! We need naps in order to maintain an appropriate "sexiness-to-vanity" ratio.
Amy slipped roofies into my diet coke.
Momma Amy: She's not union, so she's cheap.
Occasionally 4chan has some good stuff
Somewhere in West Philadelphia you will find an old basketball court with a single ball lying in the center. Should you pick it up and begin to shoot hoops, a small band of hooligans will approach and challenge you to a fight which you must accept.
After the fight you must go home and relay the events to your mother. She will inform you that there are an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Los Angeles, and out of fear, she will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.
With your bags packed, go to the street corner and signal a cab via whistle. The cab that will pull up will bear the word FRESH on the license plate, and upon closer inspection you will find fuzzy novelty dice hanging in the mirror. Although you will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely hard to find, you will not bear any thought to it. You will then point the chauffuer in the general vicinity of Bel Air, California. You will stop in front of a mansion somewhere between 7 and 8o’clock. Retrieve your baggage and bid the odeous driver adieu. Take in your new physical domain, walk up to the door and then knock on the door three times.
If you follow these instructions, your life will get flip-turned upside-down.
Oh, that's sill- INTERCHANGABLE TIES?! Well, why didn't you say so?!
Obama Action Figure from Japan
Stop trying to bogart our new black man, Japan! You already have Kurosawa, Miike and Domo-kun! Let us have Obama.
(My favorite part is the fact that he can hold an American flag OR a light saber... WHY NOT BOTH?)
Excuse me, your purse is DELICIOUS
My new purse is the exact color of Tostito's Queso dip and just as nutritious.
I need to stop being lazy
Srsly you guise.
You guise? Srsly.
The rest of my week:
Wednesday:
Gym 7-8:30(ish)
Work 11-7
MYTHBUSTERS 9-11
Coma: 11-?
Thursday:
Gym: 7-8:30(ish)
Lunch w/ Mae: lunch-time(ish)
Photoshoot: Afternoon(ish)
Shopping After afternoon(ish)
Coma ??-??
Friday:
Gym 7-8:30(ish)
Work 11-7
Laundry 8-I'm bored
Coma ??-??
Saturday:
Photoshoot BUTT CRACK OF DAWN-he and I are bored
Gym ??-??
Church 6:30-8
DANCE DANCE DANCE 10-someone takes me home
Coma ??-??
Sunday:
DRIVE TO TUCSON early
Photoshoot not as early-afternoon
Drive home 3-4:30
COMA 5-??
Photoshoot 11-??
COMA REDUX 2-??
I look at this blog everyday and get sad-faced at the number of "Drafts" I have started that remain unfinished. Writing is being done but, sadly, not for Pie. The book and various fictional short stories are slowly being hacked away at however and that's exciting - for me, anyway. Both my fiction and the book have been very neglected the past few months.
My not-new-years resolution is to post at least three times a week - and not just hilarrible videos, either. It was going well for awhile and I've slacked off. I'm sorry. Life has taken over my life.
Goodbye 2008
This has been one kah-razy year.
In 2008, I:
Fell in love. Twice.
Got my heart broken. Twice.
Flew more between March and May than I have in the last five years.
Visited the east coast.
Moved out.
Moved back in.
Went back to school.
Successfully kept 30lbs off.
Went into crazy debt.
Got out of crazy debt (two days before the year ended).
Began modeling.
Found three new friendships that have changed my life.Learned to trust God STILL learning to trust God.
On this, the last day of 2008, I can honestly say I'm a better person than I was a year ago. In the final six months I've grown more spiritually than the previous twenty-five years combined and the things that I've learned from those circumstances are momentous. I'm happy.
I'm not, however, fulfilled. Yet.
God and I are still hashing some issues out and for that I'm grateful. In all honesty, as tough as these twelve months have been, my faith has never been more stubborn than it was from April until today. God orchestrated events so that I would be able to withstand great amounts of shit and emerge (well, someday) not just in tact but stronger.
Perhaps one of the best and most important factors has been the people. I met two amazing people this year that challenged, changed and built me. Then, four months ago, I fostered a deep friendship with someone I've known for three years but never truly talked to. 2008 was life-changing because of them and I'd be very different if they hadn't come along.
These next few paragraphs are for you:
1. You kicked off this whole thing during the holidays of '07 and popped up in the most unlikely of ways. I'm incredibly honored to have been one of the few that's been allowed to get close to you and even though it culminated in an explosion of emotion, it was worth all the trouble. It brought me to an understanding of what love can and can not conquer - and at the same time taught me that there is something deeper and more meaningful than romantic love. Many months, a lot of pain and some serious perspective later, I'm incredibly content with where we're at. I care about you so much and couldn't be more proud to be your friend. You always were and always will be in my prayers.
2. More than anything else I can think of, you are the unshakable proof I have that God is here and He is not silent. To think, we met through a random blog exchange on a writing forum more than three years ago and kept loose tabs on each other based solely a shared interest in Christ and writing. How many times did I cut my f-list in that time? Did we even exchange two meaningful words prior to September? I had no reason to stay connected to you and should have shaved you from my LJ years ago for all the contact we had. I don't know why I didn't but I can honestly say that I never would have made it to '09 if I had.
I am strong(er) because of you. I believe because of you. I have faith because of you. We've watched each other make huge mistakes and we cheered each other on during the rare successes. You've listened to more tears and more rants and more anger and more petty tirades than you should have. You're not afraid to tell me when I'm being a coward and you never say something just because you think I want to hear it. In less than three months you've become the only person I can even fathom coming to when I need spiritual support. Of all those who've come before, none have known me quite so well as you do - not the details of my life, but the person God's made me and the struggles I have. I will never stop praising God for you and thanking Him for placing you in my life.
3. It shouldn't be hard to understand how and why you had such an effect on me. I've never let anyone know me the way I let you. No one's even come close. I didn't know I could love someone this deeply and this broadly; I still don't understand all of what it encompasses. I've never laughed harder than I did at a Wendy's Jr HJ or Krispy Kreme ejaculation. You are, hands down, one of the funniest men I've ever come in contact with and in my book, that's worth a lot. Stubborn and painfully, annoyingly honest, you've put more hurdles in my path than even you're aware of. You challenged me to pray, to "ass-rape" fear, to give up control, and to trust - both you and God. But more than anything else, you challenged me to step up and really love. The kind of love that asks one to be selfless, humble, honest, patient and unafraid. And it requires the ability to let go. "The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost." Everything that came before this past June was something that I could easily give up. I still don't know how to do it but I know why I have to. I would do anything for you and that includes let you go. The only regret I have is that I didn't let you know just how much you mean to me. I let my fear get the best of me for too long and when I finally stopped holding back it was too late. You deserved to know how much faith, trust and love I had (have) for you. I should have made it blatantly obvious but I didn't. I'm so sorry. I haven't handled a lot of things very well where you're concerned. I'm learning just how often I can fall and, at the same time, just how often God expects me to quit my bitching, pick myself back up and carry on.
God's used you to teach me so. damn. much. I don't think you'll ever know or understand how much your presence has affected me. I hate you for it sometimes but mostly, I'm just thankful.
And, of course, the journey my relationship with God has taken shaped me more than everything else combined. He's kicked me around, beaten me up and forced me to see the kind of person I have a tendency to be. I hide behind fear too often and it shows up as anger, conceit, superiority. It's given me the misguided belief that I can control my life and, in reality, all that's gotten me in the end is emptiness. It isn't worth it; not anymore.
"God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. The only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down."
I'm not going to live in fear this year and I'm not going to hold back. I've lost so much time because of it; I don't want to lose anymore.
Thank You, for knocking me down and breaking my heart. Again.
This time I'm going to let You rebuild it.
Happy Meme: Days 5 - 7
Day Five
Friday
Even though it was just an attempt at some rump shakin' action, I still got to see Tori for a little while until she got called into Domestic Duty.
Day Six
Saturday
Ugly Christmas Sweater party at Chris & Caroline's! As always, their party was beyond fun. Candy Apple martini's (that I didn't get to try, unfortunately), white elephant, pigs in a blanket and the inevitable retelling of Chris's game of racist Guesstures. There are certain conversation topics that only get brought up when Joel, Chris and Jeff are in the same room together, all of them socially awkward and unacceptable in polite company.
Day Seven
Sunday
Photoshoot for a local designer. I was, by far, the shortest, fattest and oldest model present but still had a really good time. Most of the time I do my own makeup and hair, but they had a darling gay Vietnamese boy named Christian on hand. Being pampered is fun.
BONUS! Day Eight
Monday
Shot with Scott for two and a half hours and my hair stayed (mostly) curled. THEN COFFEE CAKE OMG. Dinner with Amy & co., followed by the consumption of massive quantities of raw dough. This will be followed by the consumption of massive quantities of cooked dough as soon as I pick up the finished product.
Happy Meme: Day Four
Day Four
Thursday
Coffee cake plans! The throw-down goes down Monday evening in Chandler. It'll be Amy and I in the kitchen against a couple pounds of leavened dough. Should I survive, my reward will be one delicious loaf of buttery, nutty goodness.
Happy Meme: Day Three
Day Three
Wednesday
Talked with three BAMFs last night unexpectedly; Jon, Jeremy and Drew.
It was an interesting night. What better way to spend it than conversing with a couple attractive, well-built gentlemen?
Happy Meme: Day Two
Day Two
Tuesday
After the fiasco yesterday, it seems apropos (...I kinda love that word) to say that I got new pictures yesterday. And they're great. :)
Happy Meme!
1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.
3. Tag eight four of your friends to do the same.
-Ashley
-Sarah
-Ely
-SteveC
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Day One
Monday
I had an extremely good workout today; John is teaching me take-downs. While I'm having trouble keeping them all straight ("Behind-the-knee takedown. GO!" "Where do I shove my shoulder on this one?" "...Well, not in the crotch." "...still effective though, yes?") there is a certain thrill in throwing a middle-aged man down, pinning him to the ground under my knee and punching the ever-loving crap outta him. After training I worked my core for an hour, saw the cute Matt Nathanson look-a-like again (whom I have named 'Nathan,' for what I hope are obvious reasons) and left feeling like me and my impressive pins could conquer the world. At home I had a hot bath and gave myself a pedicure.
---
Maybe this will inspire me to post a bit more this week. I haven't been able to put in the kind of time that a worthwhile post requires.
Christmas cards, bbs?
I'm planning on sending out Christmas cards this year so if any of you BAMF's would like one - no matter who you are - comment with your full name and address and prepare for a mind-blowing artistic experience in stationary, images and ink.
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