I wonder if the wizards behind the new shows at Discovery channel somehow know about my craving to lick Mack's head every time I watch future weapons read my blog. Someone over there seems to have picked up the hormonal surges produced when I watch or perhaps I'm excreting a very powerful pheremone and they realize the easiest way to get me to watch is to put an attractive, well-built bald white man in chains and a harness.
Richard Machowicz of "Future Weapons"
Jeff Lieberman of "Time Warp"
Jonathan Goodwin of "One Way Out"
Discovery Channel has, apparently, perfected cloning.
I am not complaining.
You can add these men to the list of "Discovery Channel Hosts I want to make publically uncomfortable with my ridiculous displays of affection grope tie up in my basement make-out with" right after Mike Rowe and Tory Bellecci.
Well played, Discovery Channel. Well played.
They certainly know who their audience is
Occasionally 4chan has some good stuff
Somewhere in West Philadelphia you will find an old basketball court with a single ball lying in the center. Should you pick it up and begin to shoot hoops, a small band of hooligans will approach and challenge you to a fight which you must accept.
After the fight you must go home and relay the events to your mother. She will inform you that there are an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Los Angeles, and out of fear, she will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.
With your bags packed, go to the street corner and signal a cab via whistle. The cab that will pull up will bear the word FRESH on the license plate, and upon closer inspection you will find fuzzy novelty dice hanging in the mirror. Although you will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely hard to find, you will not bear any thought to it. You will then point the chauffuer in the general vicinity of Bel Air, California. You will stop in front of a mansion somewhere between 7 and 8o’clock. Retrieve your baggage and bid the odeous driver adieu. Take in your new physical domain, walk up to the door and then knock on the door three times.
If you follow these instructions, your life will get flip-turned upside-down.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited!
Who's life wasn't changed by this episode? If you raised your hand, please dig your grave because YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
The best part is Zach trying not to laugh while he comforts her.
I watch television as a substitute for dating
First it was Mike Rowe.
Then came Tory Belecci.
Next on the "Men Who Are In Danger Of Me Groping Randomly Attempting To Make-out With Them" list:
Josh Gates
He's the host of Destination Truth on the Scifi channel which has become my new favoriteshowofalltimeOMG (well, after Mythbusters [of course]). It's essentially a snarkier, more sarcastic version of those hokey Travel Channel shows about the paranormal. Whether or not their investigations are untainted and hoax-free (Man vs. Wild, anyone?) doesn't matter quite as much if I find myself laughing throughout the 44 minutes.
So far my favorite episode takes place in the forest of Aokigahara, Japan, which has the optimistic epithet "the perfect place to die":
Someone needs to hunt him down and toss him some altoids for me.
Bonus points if he's gift-wrapped.
